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| 11th April 2016 Assalamualaikum. After a year from my previous post, now i'm back. 790 days still stay with Joel. Banyak yang dah berubah. I'm already berhijab and step by step to find the right path. Not only for myself but for Joel jugak. One day, i'm the one that have to guide him. And i know that i'm not the right person to guide him and i'm not the perfect one. But i'm trying to improve myself. Joel said that i'm doing this just for me but thats not true. Really not true. I want to be that one. The one that really perfect to guide him. I wanna be the one that he'll never regret because he choose me. I wanna be the one that really suit for him. To be his life partner forever and after. To be a mummy for his kids. To be babysitter for his kids. I wanna be his housewife that always waiting him from work. But before doing all that things, i have to be the perfect one. I need a changes. From the bottom of my heart, i really really love him and i do love him with all of my heart. Now with my final project. Final exam and all. Honestly i struggle with all of this situations. I have to put myself together to stay calm but sometimes i lost it. I'm so sorry Joel. Selagi final presentation taksampai hati dia. Selagi tu lah i macamni. I taksuka pun macamni. I just wanna finish my studies first. So my mood akan jadi elok semula. Walaupun apa pun. My heart only for you my dear 💕💕 |
